Binance founder, Changpeng Zhao (CZ), embraces a plea for violating the Bank Secrecy Act. Judge accepts guilt, but CZ's return home hangs in the balance.

In Washington, D.C., Changpeng Zhao, affectionately known as CZ, may have pleaded guilty to violating the Bank Secrecy Act, but that doesn't mean he's booking a one-way ticket back home to Dubai just yet. A federal judge, with all the gravity of a poker-faced croupier, accepted CZ's guilty plea with an insouciant shrug, leaving the Binance founder in a suspenseful limbo.

Judge Richard Jones declared him guilty as charged, sealing his fate and the world's largest crypto exchange luminary had stepped down from his CEO pedestal as part of the penance. Yet, whether CZ gets to trade his judicial handcuffs for a boarding pass back to the United Arab Emirates remains a courtroom cliffhanger.

A Guilty Plea, A Pending Departure?

CZ's guilty plea echoes through the crypto corridors, marking a pivotal moment in the Binance saga and the maestro of digital assets awaits his sentencing on Feb. 23, 2024.

However, prosecutors, ever the party poopers, insist that CZ stays grounded in the U.S. until the final legal curtain falls. Meanwhile, CZ's legal team is playing the family card, asserting he poses as much risk of flight as a paper airplane. A sophisticated poker game unfolds as the judge contemplates whether to deal CZ a hand that lets him embrace his loved ones or keeps him tethered stateside. At present, he’s stuck in the U.S., but we get the feeling this isn’t the end of the story.

Meanwhile, Binance is busy posting ramen memes.

Ramen purchasing power. pic.twitter.com/60SqJJVJEU

— Binance (@binance) December 10, 2023

Misery Loves Company

CZ’s guilty plea leaves him in less than illustrious company, here’s just a handful of finance bigwigs who’ve been caught doing all sorts of naughty things:

Richard Fuld, Jr. (Lehman Brothers): Fuld was the CEO of Lehman Brothers during the 2008 financial crisis when the company filed for bankruptcy. He was criticized for his management of the company and for failing to adequately address the risks it was taking. Fuld stepped down as CEO in September 2008.

John Stumpf (Wells Fargo): Stumpf was the CEO of Wells Fargo from 2007 to 2016. During his tenure, the company was fined billions of dollars for opening millions of fake accounts without customer authorization. Stumpf was forced to resign in October 2016.

Jamie Dimon (JPMorgan Chase): Dimon is the CEO of JPMorgan Chase, the largest bank in the United States. In 2012, the bank was fined $13 billion for its role in the London Whale trading scandal. Dimon apologized for the scandal but refused to resign.

Martin Shkreli (Retrophin): Shkreli was the CEO of Retrophin, a biopharmaceutical company. In 2015, he was arrested for securities fraud and conspiracy. He was convicted in 2018 and sentenced to seven years in prison. Shame. And he has awful (and expensive) taste in music.

Bill Hwang (Archegos Capital Management): Hwang was the founder of Archegos Capital Management, a hedge fund. In March 2021, Archegos collapsed after making large bets on stocks that went sour. Hwang was fined $2.7 billion and banned from the financial industry for life.

And, given that it’s CZ we’re talking about here, let’s not forget the enormous, SBF-shaped elephant in the room.

We do wonder if DZ enjoys mackerel.