When navigating the perplexing terrain of office jargon, many younger office workers are finding it all lost in translation.

A series of reports from the likes of DuoLingo and LinkedIn and Preply have unveiled a truth that’s been hiding in plain sight, if only we’d all admit it – Office jargon is awful. This pseudo-English corporate in-speak is frustrating to outsiders, often impossible to understand and many times so vague as to be useless.

A Blended Workforce

Not only this, but there’s a generational gap emerging. We’ve now got up to five generations sharing a workplace and the English spoken by each is entirely different from that of their co-workers, especially in the case of Gen Z. We’re not proposing that we all start talking the same way, but how about we put in a pin in the jargon, circle back with some blue sky thinking and come back with all our ducks in a row. That sounds like low-hanging fruit, right? Because, remember, the new generations are adding a lot to our workplaces, and are doing really well when it comes to copy trading. Anyway, from forex Forex Foreign exchange or forex is the act of converting one nation’s currency into another nation’s currency (that possesses a different currency); for example, the converting of British Pounds into US Dollars, and vice versa. The exchange of currencies can be done over a physical counter, such as at a Bureau de Change, or over the internet via broker platforms, where currency speculation takes place, known as forex trading.The foreign exchange market, by its very nature, is the world’s largest tradi Foreign exchange or forex is the act of converting one nation’s currency into another nation’s currency (that possesses a different currency); for example, the converting of British Pounds into US Dollars, and vice versa. The exchange of currencies can be done over a physical counter, such as at a Bureau de Change, or over the internet via broker platforms, where currency speculation takes place, known as forex trading.The foreign exchange market, by its very nature, is the world’s largest tradi Read this Term to financial services, from compliance Compliance In finance, banking, investing, and insurance compliance refers to following the rules or orders set down by the government regulatory authority, either as providing a service or processing a transaction. Compliance concerning finance would also be a state of being following established guidelines or specifications. This designation can also encompass efforts to ensure that organizations are abiding by both industry regulations and government legislation. Understanding ComplianceCompliance is a In finance, banking, investing, and insurance compliance refers to following the rules or orders set down by the government regulatory authority, either as providing a service or processing a transaction. Compliance concerning finance would also be a state of being following established guidelines or specifications. This designation can also encompass efforts to ensure that organizations are abiding by both industry regulations and government legislation. Understanding ComplianceCompliance is a Read this Term offices to human resources, there's a lot of confusion out there.

In any case, regardless if it’s generational or not, corporate lingo is the bane of any writer’s life. It’s clichéd, it’s often unclear, and it just sounds, well, ridiculous. Very Michael Scott (or if we’re being original, David Brent).

Navigating "corporate speak" isn't easy.

Here's a helpful guide I put together:

"Let me check with my team" = No

"Possibly" = No

"On my roadmap" = Not happening

"This will be done in Q4" = This will be done in Q2 next year

"Disagree and commit" = I hate you

"Per my last…

— Chris Bakke (@ChrisJBakke) October 31, 2023

Anyway, stop herding cats for a minute, let’s make sure we’re all singing from the same hymn sheet and we’ll move the needle on this a little, shall we? Here’s our list of the most annoying examples of office jargon, in no particular order:

Move the needle

As the clock ticks and the needle remains stationary, many of us might question our orders from the boss. In a world of linear thinking, are we talking about the needle of compass providing much needed direction, or that of a speedometer, showing us movement? It’s the latter. It refers to the movement of the needle on a car’s speedo, showing us that we’re moving, or making progress.

Boiling the ocean

A metaphorical storm brews as staff speak of "boiling the ocean," meaning an impossible task. In the theater of corporate absurdity, did our sanity drown in the depths of metaphorical seas?

COP/EOP/EOD

What? Exactly. Close of play. End of play. End of day. I won’t use an emoji, but imagine a literal face-palm right now. What absolute nonsense. “End of day”, I can understand. But three acronyms that mean the same thing? Give me strength.

Blue-sky thinking

Encouraging boundless creativity, "blue-sky thinking" tops the list of annoying phrases. In a world of practicality, dreaming beyond the azure horizon seems more like a flight of fancy than a strategic endeavor. And besides, are you really thinking creatively if you’re using clichéd terms…?

A quick flag

When managers cry out for "a quick flag," we’re in danger of getting lost amid semaphore signals. Is it a signal for urgency or a cryptic call to arms? The flag remains aloft, waving in the winds of linguistic ambiguity. FYI, it means to draw something to your attention.

Low-hanging fruit

A bounty of "low-hanging fruit" promises easy pickings. But, those on the lowest branches are sagging under the weight. Low-hanging fruit refers to something that’s easy to get, or to achieve.

Ducks in a row

While ducks in a row evoke visions of serene order, it is more than a little odd. Are ducks inherently organized? Are found lined up in nature? Well, one theory is that it’s an expression from the game of pool, where balls that are easy to pot were referred to as “sitting ducks” and lining them up made them easy to sink.

Work hard, play hard

Ah yes, this old one. Work hard, because we get paid to. And then play hard as a reward? Hmmm. It’s just clichéd, it’s old and it sounds really trite as a rallying call or some sort of motivational move.

Herding cats

In the corporate menagerie, "herding cats" is a Sisyphean task, it will never end. I must admit, I like this one, but to be clear, it means to be struggling to get everyone doing the same thing, or working toward the same goal.

Singing from the same hymn sheet

Harmonizing opinions on a metaphorical score sheet, many are in fact out of tune with the hymnal of corporate culture. This one’s pretty obvious if you break it down. Religious overtones aside, it refers to everyone singing the same song, or working together.

And don’t worry, we’ll explore the intricacies of millennial or Gen Z speech in a following article. Because if you thought it was middle management to blame for all of the confusion, you’d be wrong. The office newbies are bringing their own incomprehensible vocab along with them. Don’t worry, it’ll be “lit”.

But, before you go, here’s my personal favorite, a bonus:

Circle back

OK, it makes sense. It’s not too bad, there are worse. But, no bit of office jargon makes me wince more than “circle back”. FYI, if you’re one of the lucky few who haven’t heard it, it means to remember the idea you’re talking about and it will be addressed later, i.e. “That’s a great idea, we’ll circle back to it next week.”

So there you are, if you find yourself saying any of the above, slow done. Once in a while, they’re OK, but all the time? You’ll sound like Michael Scott.