Techbros are everywhere, or it so it seems. They’re the forefront of the new wave of capitalism, the creators of new ideas, new technologies and new revenue streams. They’re often remarkable individuals.

However, they’re also often insufferable.

The Techbro

For those of you not in the know, here’s the leading definition on Urban Dictionary of the term “techbro”: "techbro - a guy who works in the tech field, often but not always lacking in social skills, sometimes focused on career to the exclusion of female companions.

Usage - All these techbro's are driving up the rent for the rest of us, living in SF and taking shuttles to Silicon Valley.

by neoluddit March 20, 2013"

Tech bros are the sort of people who end up getting roasted on Twitter (X, or whatever it’s called), for posts like this:

Yes, this is a grown man, presumably one with enough sense to make a relatively large income, honestly advocating taking a train as opposed to a ride share. And then he palms it off as some sort of incredible financial insight that we should all be grateful for. Thankfully, he’s being mocked. While Twitter is apparently the fount of all disinformation – a slight exaggeration – I think they’ve got this one just right.

The Techbro Top Five

In any case, here’s our techbro top five, how many do you tick?

1. Do you use bro speak?

We’ve covered it above. Please, for the love of all that is holy, stop saying things like “conserve your capital” outside of environments in which you are genuinely giving insightful financial advice to people who have asked for it. And stop saying that you work for a fintech /startup with five seconds of meeting everyone, ala our Tweeter.

2. Do you enjoy T parties?

No, we’re not talking about the right wing American political movement (don’t worry, that link is safe to follow). Get ready for this one. T parties are where men get together to … measure their testosterone. But why? OK, one in four men might suffer from low testosterone, but we’re, and we’re making a leap here, going to say that it has more to do with showing off and generally embracing bro culture, than any real medical concern. However, during these T parties, men gather together to discuss ways to enhance their testosterone levels and often take blood tests in order to discover their current values.

All very odd. Sounds like something best left to the doctor’s office.

3. Do you own a branded Patagonia vest?

Well. It’s a simple question. Patagonia vests were long a staple of the finance sector’s up and comers, the go-getters, the kind of people who can’t stop saying “startup”. But, sadly, the company stopped co-branding with companies a long time ago. Disaster. But wait! There’s news! Patagonia is now open to limited branding again! How exciting. Get writing that email.

4. Do you own, and incessantly talk about, both NFTs and crypto?

OK, owning crypto isn’t the issue. Owning both NFTs and crypto and always talking about them, is the issue. This article highlights the issue beautifully. If you ever find yourself uttering the sentence “… and I minted two NFT bananas last week and then resold them for 5x the next day” stop. Take a breath and think about life. Especially if you actually used the term “5x” in a sentence. Crypto is all well and good, and so are certain NFTs - though tread very warily – but you don’t have to sound like you’re in a cult.

5. Do you have a side hustle?

Tech bros very often have a side hustle. A project they’re running alongside their full-time job. By day they’re a high-level consultant with a world-renowned firm, by night they’re launching the platform that will revolutionize industry X. Tell-tale signs are dropping mention of their new app that’s currently in beta. Sound familiar?

Anyway, there’s our guide. Take a read, look in the mirror. Take off the turtleneck and/or vest.

Tech bros are, no doubt, often at the head of truly incredible innovations, and some of them might even change the world for the better and in ways we can’t imagine.

But, take a breath, ease up on us normies.